A low-down of the 5Ls – 11/02/20

If you haven’t completed one of the Five Ls, then you’ve at least heard of them. Library, Lake, Laundrette, LCR and Lecture Theatre.

In the Sex Survey, the LCR was the most favoured location, with 12.9% of respondents having done the dirty in UEA’s own Lower Common Room. Presumably the unisex toilets enable any couple to sneak away discreetly and get down to it whilst their friends throw up in the cubicle next door. However, it is not the most romantic of spots considering the puddles of sick, pee and VK on the floor of every toilet block.

The next location to be favoured by UEA students is the Lake. 8.7% of you said you had sex here. But what actually counts as completing the lake? Do you have to be in the lake? On a bench? In the shrubs? I’ve seen enough condom wrappers around the benches and on the jetties to have an educated guess. The downfall of the lake is that anyone could walk around the corner and stumble upon you. There are lots of dog walkers, runners and stressed students that use the paths around the Lake as a route.

The Laundrette is arguably one of the riskiest locations. Students tactically use the Laundrette at all hours of the night so they can find an empty machine. Therefore, there is no safe time to use any of the laundrettes. Bravo if you’re in the 1.7% of those who answered our survey and managed to christen a machine.

Next up on our list is our Lecture Theatres. Many students go there to learn and be educated, but not 2.1% of you! You can book Lecture Theatres through the e:vision system to ensure that you are alone. From what I’ve heard, only the four lecture theatres in the lecture theatre block count, so no LSB lecture theatres for you…

The Library is argued to be the place where the greatest number of students get caught. Whether they’re found coming guiltily out of the toilets, the bookshelves or even in the rolling stack on 02. There are cameras everywhere and lots of roaming students.

The five Ls are often considered to be taboo, with over 80% of you not having had a sexual experience in any of the five locations around campus. I think what makes the Five Ls challenge appealing is the thrill of it all. Not knowing if you’ll get caught. One thing is for certain, that the legend of the five Ls will continue for years after we graduate.

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